lifetransformedblog

The first portion of this post title does not require much, if any, elucidation. I believe that whether our life stories are written for us by fate or destiny or whatever other name you my choose to call it, or if we are the original authors of our own stories, then those stories can be rewritten. Everything we do in life is a choice, and it is those choices that define who we are. I have chosen to rewrite my story.

The Gathering is the name I have given to yet another portentous dream I had. The setting was in the open air theater at San Diego State University where I received my college diploma. I was both observing and participating in the dream. As the observer, I was sitting on one of the upper seats, looking down on the stage. As the participant, I was standing right next to the stage, looking up at the podium. I was awaiting the speaker, a high priestess who I had longed to hear speak my entire life. I had a burning question for her. I had been feeling that energies and strange forces had been gathering all around me, and I wanted to ask her if this could be true. Could I really be sensing something extraordinary gathering around me, and if so what was the purpose?

When the high priestess took the podium, she looked directly down at me and made eye contact. She then said, “There are forces gathering around you.” I was just about to interrupt her and say, “That was exactly the question I had for you! How did you know, and what do I do with them!?” But before I could get the words out of my mouth, almost before I could even finish thinking the thought, she said, “You know exactly what you are supposed to do.” And with that, the dream ended.

As things now stand, I am co-leading the largest MS Support group in this region. This is to prepare me to lead my own group in the way that is asked of me. My co-leader is as much into fitness as I am, and at her request I am now taking pilates classes that she teaches in addition to my almost-daily workouts. She and I both want to emphasize the importance of fitness, especially in the presence of an illness that compromises how your nerves behave. We believe that where the nerves fail, well-trained muscles can compensate. I firmly believe that if my MS had not compromised my balance, I would not have broken my leg in three places that day back in March when I stepped on the rim of that dog bowl. I should have been able to recover my balance instead of breaking both my distal tibia and distal fibula.

I am also re-releasing everything that I previously locked down. There are a couple of reasons for this: The main reason is that sponsors will want to know the whole story if I have any realistic hope of securing donations. Also I will be very selective about to whom I disclose the existence of this blog. Most of what is written here will not exist in MSAngel.org, at least not in its current form. But stay tuned to lifetransformedblog. There is new material forthcoming.

I have a very busy day ahead of me today; I have a promise to keep and much to do in preparation for keeping that promise. I tried to blog this earlier this morning, but my bird was barking and distracting me, making it difficult for me to bend my mind around these thoughts. Now Scarlette is quiet and I am taking advantage of that quiet. A few days ago I posted about some technical complications. Now I have had a dream about these complications. I am writing this with full awareness that this post may have to be locked down in the not-too-distant future.

A few days ago, I sat down to work on MSAngel.org, the other blog that I am currently developing. I know that in order to write with any true meaning, I have to put my mind in whatever place I am writing from. So the first thing I did when I sat down was turn on some quiet music and let my mind go. Once it cleared, I put myself back in my neurologist’s office on a day in January of 1999. I needed to write from the perspective of newly diagnosed MS patient. Once my mind was in that place, I started browsing through the 50 or so titles that are in this blog’s queue, making mental notes of the titles and their accompanying images. What I saw, from the eyes of a newly diagnosed patient, was horrifying! It seemed like I was looking at titles out of a horror movie. I thought, “Oh, my God. I do not want to know this!” I also thought that I would log off immediately and never log onto that blog again. Ever. In reality, that is exactly the approach I did take all the way from January of 1999 until about a month ago. With that in mind, I immediately locked everything down. I do not want to frighten other people with MS, especially those who have just been diagnosed with the affliction and have no idea what to expect. I want them to know that it can be okay and that there are ways to work around MS. So there is my technical challenge: Sharing the experiences from this blog with MSAngel.org blog in a way that will inspire, not frighten.

This brings me to last night’s dream. I was standing on a battlefield looking into the horizon. All around me, debris was scattered. A person began to approach me from the left. I could not identify this person; I didn’t know if he or she was friend or foe. As this person approached from the left, an object came flying at me from horizon, off to the right. Of interest, somewhere along the line I learned that in dream/paranormal interpretation, approach from the left is malevolent; approach from the right is benevolent. This object appeared to be a boomerang upon initial observation and it was spinning across the x-axis. I stood motionless, watching it spin wildly as it flew at me, now ignoring the person who was approaching me. As the object got closer and closer to me, the spinning became multi-dimensional. It reminded me of the gyrosphere-type spinning in my entry Near Death: The Strangest Plane Ride Ever . I began to see that the object looked like a mirror, and that there were three-dimensional letters. There then came a fraction of a moment when I could read the letters as it spun by me. I turned towards the right to get a better look at it. In shining silver letters, it read: First Do No Harm.

I am going to leave it at that for the time being, because I have to get busy. Like I mentioned, I have a promise to keep.

Regretfully, I must announce that lifetransformedblog is locked down due to unforeseen technical complications. I am working as quickly as I can to resolve these issues and will lift the locks as soon as possible. It is conceivable that this may not occur until the same time that MSAngel.org is launched, which is tentatively set for the middle of January 2013.   My apologies.